My husband and I recently celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary, whoo hoo! Half a century of a shared life is no small thing. Fifty years of joys and challenges, tears and laughter, and more growth than I ever could have imagined.
Looking back, it feels like it’s gone by in a flash and yet there were days that felt endlessly long. Those angsty, painful days often came when I was battling against Reality, believing I could change others – my husband, my kids, anyone who might make me feel more at ease.
It took me nearly 45 of those 50 years to realize it was never their job to make me feel worthy or lovable. Of course when they do, it’s delightful. But my peace of mind can’t depend on them.
I once thought that if I could just manage circumstances or influence people’s behavior, then I’d finally feel at ease.
The truth is inner calm, peace, satisfaction are inside jobs. They are on-going choices that demand our commitment. The shift came when I understood that their lives were their own, and that my well being rests in my ability to navigate my own inner state. And that awareness continues to be life-changing.
In many ways, marriage and life itself, feel like a life time Yoga practice. Learning to steady my breath. Finding my center again and again (once I figured out I had one!). Allowing space while the whirlwind of family, careers, creativity, health and finances swirls around. Oh yes…and seeking out more and more and more ways to appreciate!
And all I can say is I thank the powers that be for Yoga and Meditation, my companions reminding me that balance, clarity and harmony are always within reach in this sea of change.
Now here we are in September, a month of change, whose ancient name comes from Latin, meaning seven, septum. Did you know it was once the seventh month of the year and then was shifted to the ninth? Even calendars change!
September has always been a bridge, summer to fall, light to dark, fullness to quiet. Our bodies change, our relationships change, our health changes – through Yoga and Meditation we learn that steadiness is possible in the midst of all of it. When we stop waiting for outer circumstances to settle before we allow ourselves balance or joy, we step into real freedom.
It’s even possible to have fun facing the unsteadiness of change, because when you know that balance, ease, and confidence are right there within your reach, change becomes less of a burden and more of an adventure.
At The Yoga Garden this September, we continue our playful exploration of making friends with change.
With love, Patty
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